GRATITUDE

Catholics have a Rosary; red color, more than a hundred small beads with a rhythmic prayer…THANK YOU JESUS. I said it so many times that it began to feel like a dull monosyllabic routine prayer. It wasn’t until I started to think of all the things I was grateful for that I realized that this prayer was the potent way that I could express thanks to God for all that he had done for me and was still doing. It didn’t matter how boring it sounded, it was a consistent prayer that let God know how thankful I was for everything in my life.

Catholics are an incredibly privileged group of people. Everyone has God and Jesus but Catholics possess in addition to the above a special relationship with the Saints in heaven and the Blessed Mother Mary. If I ever had a request that I felt would be too big for God to grant me; I went through Mary using the Rosary and 95% of the time I always got what I prayed for. If there is anything in my life that I am grateful for it has to be the gift of being born a Catholic and having Mary guide me especially in moments when I am in despair and desire inner peace.

Growing up poor, we had to device our own means of having fun and doing the things we saw on television. None of us had ever seen a Jacuzzi up close so we usually got a big rubber bath, filled it with water while we took turns jumping and splashing water in it. We scrubbed the cement floor clean and slide across to make up for the lack of a swimming pool. We were Boys and girls, under the age of ten; naked without a care in the world. We didn’t have money for a real football so we improvised with rubber inflated balls for the football and stones as the goal post.  Wooden tables served as the table for ping pong and forgotten wood from the carpenter’s workshop was our table tennis bat. It was bliss… to be at the bottom of the economic ladder and not even know it.  I was thankful even then; for friends who made life fun, for family who gave me a sense of identity and for the lack of exposure to the outside world which made it easy for me to see my life as an incredible adventure.

When I was 14 years old in secondary school my father called me and my sisters aside; he said to us…my aim in life is to ensure that you are spiritually stable, financially independent, educated and free thinking individuals who will not let any man walk all over you. That was the moment I knew that I was a feminist… It was like having an epiphany where colors that was dull suddenly became brighter; I knew where I wanted my path in life to lead, my goals became a bit clearer and I soaked in my father’s words like the soldier I was motivating myself for the battle of life. I was grateful…for those words which brightened my visions and inspired me into believing that I am who I am because I choose to be not because someone else decides where I go.

To put me in the right frame of mind to write this piece I had to go back to two of my past articles; No such thing as too much thanks http://linkshrink.com/hx8 and My friends, my jewels http://linkshrink.com/hx9 both of which aptly explain my position on the importance of thanksgiving and show those who I am most thankful.

In 2013 I made new, amazing friends who have added value to my life, I lost a friendship I thought would last forever and I kept the friends who I refer to as my solid rocks… My friends have been amazing, sometimes I take them for granted and in a moment of clarity I try to show them just how much they mean to me.

Solid rocks like Kike and Tomi; two gorgeous women I have been privileged to know; Young beauties who do not indulge too much in vanity but seek ways of spiritual empowerment. One time my cousin Okey asked me why do you always make out time to visit those girls, because you never travel out of state for anyone at all!  and i replied they are the type of people whose friendship i never want to loose.I love them to bits because every time I think of them I feel challenged to attain purity and peace of mind that always seem to evade me.

New friends like Peter… who remind me that there are young Nigerians out there who are proud Christians, not afraid to stand by their beliefs. Peter is the best young writer I met in 2013; A breath of fresh air with the right amount of indignation, self-mockery and attitude in his writing.

To Femi; One young man who keeps making me mad inadvertently but has me perplexed with his ability to draw my heart strings with his vague view of women and his ability to present them in a manner I find both adoring and debasing at the same time.

|To Nkechi, someone I admired for most of my time in secondary but I was always so scared to walk up to her and start the friendship that I thought would challenge some of my core feminist thinking…2013 was the start of something new and I am excited at the prospect of picking your brains apart in 2014…I am glad we are reconnecting.

To Musa Moh’d, one of the two people who helped me to start up my own blog and has given me every support that I could think of. Friends like you are far and I feel lucky and blessed to have you in my corner.

To him who does not want to be mentioned, my biggest fan...the one person who is almost more excited about my blog than I am…For materials you have given me, for advice and ideas that are invaluable. You are the only friend I know, who gives but never takes and I thank you for kicking my ass into action when I was too demoralized to do it for myself.

To Temi, the most important friend I made in 2013; the goodness of your heart strengthens my belief in the notion that there are people who are good for the sake of being good not just because religion has asked us to… there are still 94 reasons why I like you and I am going to spend 2014 trying to discover each one.

To my family…disjointed at the middle yet united in love. You will always be home.

I can’t thank my haters because I had none in 2013, but I can appreciate those who criticized me to my face because they fueled an anger in me that helped me to direct my writing into areas that I was scared to visit and I will never forget the courage I found in that anger.

To Dear God who is my friend and patriarch. The one person whom I can vent to without fear because I do not see him physically, He who knows my heart and makes my shortcomings look like nothing. God has been really good to me in 2013, especially at those times when I wasn’t praying; he just kept blessing me as if to say… I do not need a reason to bless you… I bless you because I want to.  He has taught me that grace and love are unconditional gifts given to me freely and though unworthy I may be to receive them he continually watches over me in patience waiting for me to come to him.

To all my dear readers; those who trace my emails and my Facebook account just to give me feedback…to my bbm friends….to the ex who always took time to check for errors and give me pointers…..i cherish the support…you are the aphrodisiac that spurs me…