CRAZY STUPID LOVE

CRAZY STUPID LOVE

I have always compartmentalized love; quantified it as an object of want not need. Love did not choose; I did. I held the power to decide who would be worthy. The decision would be based on my head not heart. The ability of my partner to meet certain economic goals, our compatibility with each other and a small dose of attraction would be important factors.

Coming from a background like mine where poverty was more real than affections it has always been important to secure a financially stable future for myself and my unborn children… more important that than feelings and attraction.

It’s how people married anyway; an average guy finds an average woman and they pool their resources together and start a family. Rich men had the luxury of marrying from any background because they had the resources to be the sole provider and poor people who married each other were miserable their entire lives. Hence, everyone who was desperate to get out was careful about how they chose their life partners because that is what it was…married for life.

After a year, two or five at the most, couples became housemates; synchronizing their lives to fit daily schedules while providing for their children. There was nothing to talk about anymore; conversation had long gone cold and familiarity strained. The only connection was the kids. Sex…sex what! Wifey had stopped trying long ago because husband wasn’t looking anymore. The old missionary style was not appealing and none was bold to breach the subject. So they stripped in front of each other every morning and night, looking but not really seeing, going through the motions till they got out of the house…aaah…sweet sweet freedom.

Husband has a bunch of friends he hangs out with after work each day. Together they stay out till 9pm before going home to tuck the kids in and on weekends, it was mistress time!

Hot, young, sexy ladies in their 20s with full round breasts and perky nipples.  The buttocks were plump and soft to touch; not too big to be outrageous but perfect enough to grab and play with. There were no stretch marks either on their smooth, flat stomachs as husband became a wanton beasts acting out fantasies he wouldn’t dare to tell his wife.

From the start it was a union that provided comfort; a blanket of sort for the couple. Both of them in it for different reasons, breaking vows they never meant to keep because their hearts were not invested from day one.

Love… that barely whispered word drawing at our heart strings, daring us to dream about emotions we might not be able to comprehend. It is the human emotion that goes beyond passion and friendship, taking control from us and leaving us weak and vulnerable in times we want to be anything but. It exposes us to hurt and heartbreak from those who would seek to take without giving but fills us with a sense of self and a fullness of happiness. Love is the ability to sacrifice for others not because we want to but for the reason that we have no other option. It is the emotion that forces us to exercise caution in our actions because of the effect it might have on those we hold dear.

For some people who are ‘lucky’ love comes in a neat little package. A good looking man from the same ethnic group and religion; he has a good income, well mannered, loving, passionate and faithful…in one word, He is your person. Others don’t find this decision to make so easily because it seems the forces are against their union.

Love is more than just a test. It does not give you options to choose from, waiting for you to pick whom you give your heart to. It happens in spite of what you think you want. When we love, we cease to have control, giving our heart and trust to the person of our affection. Love overrides our body’s entire objection to submit ourselves to an emotion so powerful that it sometimes overwhelms us into doing things we didn’t know we could.

Yet, love makes us better; it brings out the best version of us because we now seek to make our partners happy and proud. We are stronger when we realize that ceding control only strengthens the bond we share. Love never grows old, it may dim but its light is always alive. True love does not seek to hurt but to provide happiness, joy, peace and pleasure. It is not as complicated as we think it to be neither does the passion emitted ever becomes boring.

If people married those they loved, they would be friends five, ten years after; excited to come home and share their day with each other. They would look for an opportunity to touch and make contact seeking the familiar presence and comfort derived from a partner. The sex would still be amazing because young girls in their 20s wouldn’t even be a bleep on their radar knowing how much it would hurt their partner to share their body with someone else. They stick to missionary or find new ways to flame the passions in their bedroom so that it never becomes boring or a routine of marital duty.

Love makes us stupid when it defies all of our lifelong plans of stability and encourages us to make new plans for the future. It enslaves our sanity and teaches us to live free on its own terms.

Yes… love is dangerous and reckless; exciting in its starting days and memorable as it goes on. Which would you rather have… a stable future with an economic partner or an unstable future with someone who makes you feel like the light of the world…five, ten, twenty years from now?